“Yes, I totally would date a fan! I get this question a lot, but I m always saying yes.”
“You fall in love and it completely consumes you. So a part of you is broken when that s gone. And part of you wants to have that rebellious feeling where you re just like Forget it- I can do anything i want I ve tried it and I ve never been that girl. I m always going to be the girl you want to take home to your parents, not for the night. ”
“That kiss you gave me was the hottest kiss i ve ever had. I pulled away because i was afraid i wouldn t be able to stop myself from ripping off your clothes. And that didn t seem like the right way to end a first date. I didn t want you to think that was all i was interested in. She stared at him. There was silence again, but this time she didn t worry about how long it went on. Why didn t you tell me? She said finally. I tried to, but every time i saw you afterward you disappeared. I got the feeling you were avoiding me. i didn t want things to be awkward. Yeah, there was nothing awkward about you hiding behind a plant when i came into the dining hall at lunch on wednesday. I wasn t hiding. I was, um, breathing. You know, oxygen. From the plant. Very oxygenated, that air is. Of course. I should have thought of that. It s a healthy thing. Not many people know about it.”
“I had to wonder, though, if there s something about a murderer, particularly a confident one, that gives him a certain charisma or charm that I, in particular, am susceptible to. I mean, there s a reason more women are attracted to Dracula than repelled by him. I made a resolution to myself. From now on, I d assume that every man I was attracted to was a murderer until proven otherwise. Perhaps it wasn t the most promising strategy for starting a relationship, but I might live longer.”
“Tess realized one of the great modern dating sadnesses: everyone is so used to the comforting glow of the computer screen that no one can go so far as to say good morning in public without being liquored up.”
“Do many guys ask you out twice? Only the ones with balls.”
“I spent the weekend after our date wishing I could stab him with my fluffy-duck pen and staring at the phone hoping he d call. Dating is a very tricky business.”
“... Dont marry an orange and expect him to turn into an apple. If you want an orange, great. If not, put him back in the proverbial fruit bowl for someone else to enjoy and move on.”
“Unfortunately, he still hadn’t asked for my number, or a date, or my hand in marriage, and my drink was getting low.”
“Always carry a book on a date so that when you get bored you can slip into the Ladies for a read.”
“I m always looking for meaningful one-night stands”
“If we treated careers more like dating, nobody would settle down so quickly.”
“Sooo, I m tired of people thinking I m a freak. I know you can t relate to that but - Get over it already, will ya? Candace stood. You re not Smellody anymore. You re pretty. You can get hot guys now. Tanned ones with good vision. Not geeky hose jousters. She shut the window. Don t you ever want to use your lips as something other than veneer protectors? Melody felt a familiar pinch behind her eyes. Her throat dried. Her eyes burned. And then they came. Like salty little paratroopers, tears descended en masse. She hated Candace thought she had never made out with a boy. But how could she convince a seventeen-year-old with more dates than a fruitcake that Randy the Starbucks cashier (aka Scarbucks, because of his acne scars) was a great kisser? She couldn t.”
“It is hard to feel safe and comfortable when the only measures for what is safe and comfortable are normative ideas you don t abide by.”
“When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.”
“I m not that shallow, asshole. I don t need money. It s way more important for them to be good-looking.”
“This is one rule about mixing boys and girls: that a date always comes first.”