“Not to be with the one you love, Laura, the one person you should be spending your life with--it’s like a kind of living death. To wake up every morning and know you are still here. To have that brief, sweet moment of blankness, before your mind reminds you who you are, and why you are unhappy. It was like hell. A living hell of the heart’s own making.”
“And if her heart was breaking with every step she took, at least he would never know.”
“When mothers warn their daughters about all the cold nasty men out there who will only break their tender little hearts, I m the one they ve got in mind because I m the one who broke their hearts when their mothers were warning them.”
“They died together; they ll always be remembered together. It s decided, once and for all. He was hers. The rumors don t matter; they ll fade...People may remember it was suicide, but my name won t be attached. It will just be two lovers, fused together forever.”
“I may tear you apart but I ll put you back together.”
“I always say that anybody who’s single
“Heartbroken men are like wild animals, running around with hysteria in their eyes, desperately trying to knock the dents out of their egos. ”
“I know I ll hold this loss in my heart forever. I know I ll hold, I ll hold. I know.”
“She was telling me that I had a life of disappointment before me if I continued to love him as I did. A love that is too strong can turn poisonous and bring great unhappiness. And then, what is the remedy? Can you unlearn your heart s desire? Can you stop loving someone? Easier to drown yourself; easier to take the lover s leap.”
“How can you smile as though your whole life hasn t capsized”
“my own chocolate center has filled up with poison, the roses he gave me all twisted black”
“She remained silent. There was nothing left to say. He d said it all the night before. He had to end it. He could never leave his wife. And, in fact, she had known this. Although she loved him - and truly she did - he wasn t hers. He belonged to his wife. She d earned him. It didn t matter that he was her first love or that she was his passion. It didn t matter that they had loved one another for more than half their lives. It didn t matter that he had married his wife on the rebound. It didn t matter that he didn t love the woman. It didn t even matter that they had turned into some soap-opera cliche. He was married to someone else and that meant that she was leftovers and destined to remain on the periphery in the shadow of another woman s marriage. But no more. She was well and truly sick of it. ”
“But then Mason touches my neck, to the spot on it where the cut from that night has since healed, and I pull away. He was right, after all; it didn t leave a scar, though part of me wishes it had. At least I d have some evidence, some justification of this permanence. Stains are even worse when you re the only one who can see them.”
“I say, Well then I don t know if it was real, and that makes me feel like I m going insane again. Absolutely it was real. It was a real, partial picture. Because it ended preemptively, things you would have learned about him in the relationship, you are instead learning in the breakup. You have learned that he has a desperate desire for intimacy and then a desperate desire for the cave. He will get lonely there eventually and come back. To me? He doesn t pause. To someone new. And I ll have to watch another girl? You will have to, but you will also know what lies ahead for that poor girl.”
“It s the broken plans you have made that are the hardest to get over.”
“You selfish bitch! She had known for a long time that putting her needs above those of Adam s wife and children was indeed selfish. She had no real answer to the accusation thrown at her. I m sorry she said, with her head in her hands. you re sorry? came her adversary s disbelieving reply. I am. I m sorry he married you when he was in love with me. I m sorry I couldn t have loved someone else. I m sorry your marriage is a joke and I m sorry that I m alone. I m sorry for a lot of things - for you, for your kids, for me and for him. I spend most of my time being sorry. For a moment there was silence at the end of the line. all you had to do was stay away if only I could have. tears escaped and raced down her cheeks. I hate you!”
“I was a fool. I should have grabbed him when I could have had him all to myself, snatched him up like a ripe mango at the market. But how was I to know that this was what love felt like?”