“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS! It was...Dumbledore!”
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT.... Hargirid paused angrily. BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
“People don t seem as annoying when I ve got coffee”
“I m afraid I don t know WTF. I only discovered LOL from Joyce last week. I m going to assume that it doesn t refer to the Warsaw Transit Facility, as that was shut down in 1981 when the Russians came sniffing.”
“People who live in unstable places have brilliantly dark senses of humour. Even when Yemen was getting bombed, Yemenis would be telling you the most inappropriate jokes.”
“He punched me in the face, Ash said, who understandably did not seem to find the situation humorous at all. And then he yelled at me for sleeping with our personal trainer! I was told breakup scenes were a good way to distract people, Jared said with beautiful simplicity. Ash looked so surprised, Holly said. He had no idea what was going on. He said, I didn t sleep with our personal trainer! We don t even have a personal trainer! Angela and Holly giggled. Ash held the back of his hand to his bleeding mouth and glared. Jared was still grinning like a maniac. In that case, he told Ash solemnly, I will consider taking you back.”
“I demoted him from The Best Man Ever to just The Best Man I’d Ever Met. Superman would have charged out (hell, he’d have flown) to get Lois Lane cookies. I was pretty sure of it.”
“Wow, top five percent of your class at Northwestern. Nice! Joel said and then looked over at me. Bet you re glad to have someone so amazing working under you, huh? Chloe coughed slightly, bringing her napkin up from her lap to cover her mouth. I smiled as I quickly glanced over to her and then back to Joel. Yes, its absolutely amazing having Miss Mills under me. She always gets the job done.”
“I can’t fuck your life, I’m monogamously fucking my own life.”
“Torture?” she asked with a laugh. “My first piece of information I’ll divulge to you? I wouldn’t recommend trying to torture me. I dislike it and grow sulky under pincers. It’s a fault.”
“She d proven to be one of the most aggravating people I d ever met. Unfortunately for me, she was also the best sex I d ever had. Fuck, he d better never get that far. I wasn t sure I knew where to hide a body around here.”
“My mom said the moon landing was faked,” said Eddie. “But she also said she saw Jackie Kennedy, Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis and Bigfoot at the IHOP out by the interstate. Elvis picked up the check.”
“Some people just don’t find their Prince Charming straight away, they have to search for him.”
“Matthias joined them at the table. “The Shu woman we faced was stronger than me, Jesper, and Wylan put together.” “You heard right,” said Jesper. “Stronger than Wylan.”
“Don’t know if it’s good or bad that a Google search on “Big Bang Theory” lists the sitcom before the origin of the Universe”
“Ah, if only we were born roaring with laughter and took that emotional template through life with us! Whoever s in charge seriously messed up somewhere. I can only hope that right now, that selfsame Whoever is wryly relating their cock-up to some celestial colleague, who responds: Hey, you should put that in a book. LOL!”
“Pretty much I would let Gemma know that she is a fat cunt and, um the shoes that she gave me were not something that I would particularly buy for myself. They were old maiden type of shoes, and she said that those shoes were meant to be worn on a beautiful woman So if that is the case she should have put them back on the rack and she should never even purchased them because she was UNQUALIFIED to own those shoes if that s the case and, um I think that Gemma is just a disgrace. She s a disgrace to women who are actually beautiful and classy and, um she just doesn t have the vernacular she thinks she possesses Somebody lied to her several times and told her that she was fly, hot and sexy and beautiful and she s nothing like that She s nothing of the sort”