“Everything I need to know... I learned in kindergarten.”
“School the sum of 12 years of productivity which have went in state of getting lost.”
“Be present in this class. And then, when it s over, be present out there.”
“School forces unique individuals to think, act, and, look alike.”
“What is the most important thing one learns in school? Self-esteem, support, and friendship.”
“Francie, huddled with other children of her kind, learned more that first day than she realized. She learned of the class system of a great Democracy.”
“The difference between school and life? In school, you re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”
“The old man was peering intently at the shelves. I ll have to admit that he s a very competent scholar. Isn t he just a librarian? Garion asked, somebody who looks after books? That s where all the rest of scholarship starts, Garion. All the books in the world won t help you if they re just piled up in a heap.”
“I d had nearly four years of experience looking at these clocks, but their sluggishness never ceased to surprise. If I am ever told that I have one day to live, I will head straight to the hallowed halls of Winter Park High School, where a day has been known to last a thousand years.”
“Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.”
“To be better equipped for the tests that the year will bring — read a textbook. To prepare for the tests that life will bring — read a book.”
“THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. We are here to help you. 2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings. 3. The dress code will be enforced. 4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds. 5. Our football team will win the championship this year. 6. We expect more of you here. 7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen. 8. Your schedule was created with you in mind. 9. Your locker combination is private. 10. These will be the years you look back on fondly. TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL 1. You will use algebra in your adult lives. 2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away. 3. Students must stay on campus during lunch. 4. The new text books will arrive any day now. 5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores. 6. We are enforcing the dress code. 7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon. 8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals. 9. There is nothing wrong with summer school. 10. We want to hear what you have to say.”
“Principal Principal: Where s your late pass, mister? Errant Student: I m on my way to get one now. PP: But you can t be in the hall without a pass. ES: I know, I m so upset. That s why I need to hurry, so I can get a pass. Principal Principal pauses with a look on his face like Daffy Duck s when Bugs is pulling a fast one. PP: Well, hurry up, then, and get that pass.”
“They made a major mistake, he blurted out, the dumb bastards, when they didn t start by killing you first. Benjamin Thomas Parish, that was the sweetest and most bizarre compliment anyone s ever given me. I kissed him on the cheek. He kissed me on the mouth. You know, I whispered, a year ago, I would have sold my soul for that. He shook his head. Not worth it. And, for one-ten thousandth of a second, all of it fell away, the despair and grief and anger and pain and hunger, and the old Ben Parish rose from the dead. The eyes that impaled. The smile that slayed. In another moment, he would fade, slide back into the new Ben, the one called Zombie, and I understood something I hadn t before: He was dead, the object of my schoolgirl desires, just as the schoolgirl who desired him was dead.”
“As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.”
“If I were to draw on a paper what gym does for me, I would make one dot and then I would erase it.”
“We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better. Then it melts. The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don t know what just happened. They can t remember.”