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humorous

“Worry:Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.”

— Dean Ing, Share via Whatsapp

“If you don t succeed the first time - you re about average”

— Frederick L Coxen, Share via Whatsapp

“If anything in nature was as beautiful as it was deadly, it was she.”

— Randy C. Dockens, T-H-B, Share via Whatsapp

“I think my underwear is curling off me like burning paper.”

— Sally Thorne, The Hating Game, Share via Whatsapp

“Don’t let it worry you, said Ron. It’s me. I’m extremely famous.”

— J.K. Rowling, Share via Whatsapp

“(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?”

— Victor Borge, Share via Whatsapp

“If you were a real professional, you d build a bridge and get over it.”

— Jacqueline E. Smith, Between Worlds, Share via Whatsapp

“I can’t believe I found a partner who thinks I’m funny - it just took falling sixty meters and being enslaved.”

— Edith Pawlicki, Minerva, Share via Whatsapp

“I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff… and I want in..”

— Homer Simpson, Share via Whatsapp

“Do You want to be a Starfish?”

— Dillinger Cobb, Share via Whatsapp

“I fink it is a femuw. A femuw of a winowcowus... A a-stinct winocowus.”

— Elizabeth Peters, The Curse of the Pharaohs, Share via Whatsapp

“I might be in love with you. He smiles a little. I m waiting until I m sure to tell you, though.”

— Veronica Roth, Divergent, Share via Whatsapp

“You might want to lie down, Magnus advised. I find that it helps when the crushing sense of horrible realization sets in.”

— Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes, Share via Whatsapp

“Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about these things. What (women) like is to be a man’s last romance.”

— Oscar Wilde, Share via Whatsapp

“Scrawny little mundane bastard.”

— Cassandra Clare, City of Lost Souls, Share via Whatsapp

“In small towns, news travels at the speed of boredom.”

— Carlos Ruiz Zafón, Share via Whatsapp

“Thanks,” I muttered and added under my breath, “Douchebag.” He laughed, deep and throaty. “Now that’s not very ladylike, Kittycat.” I whipped around. “Don’t ever call me that,” I snapped. “It’s better than calling someone a douchebag, isn’t it?” He pushed out the door. “This has been a stimulating visit. I’ll cherish it for a long time to come.” Okay. That was it. “You know, you’re right. How wrong of me to call you a douchebag. Because a douchebag is too nice of a word for you,” I said, smiling sweetly. “You’re a dickhead.” “A dickhead?” he repeated. “How charming.” I flipped him off.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian, Share via Whatsapp