“Man has created God out of fear of dying.”
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I used everything you gave me.”
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
“They can keep their heaven. When I die, I’d sooner go to Middle-earth.”
“Heaven would never be heaven without you.”
“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
“25 And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee? 26 And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next. 27 And the Lord did not ask him again.”
“I was waiting for the longest time, she said. I thought you forgot. It is hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.”
“There once was a girl who found herself dead. She peered over the ledge of heaven and saw that back on earth her sister missed her too much, was way too sad, so she crossed some paths that would not have crossed, took some moments in her hand shook them up and spilled them like dice over the living world. It worked. The boy with the guitar collided with her sister. There you go, Len, she whispered. The rest is up to you.”
“We may be surprised at the people we find in heaven. God has a soft spot for sinners. His standards are quite low.”
“There was a thing called Heaven; but all the same they used to drink enormous quantities of alcohol.”
“Just like heaven. Ever’body wants a little piece of lan’. I read plenty of books out here. Nobody never gets to heaven, and nobody gets no land. It’s just in their head. They’re all the time talkin’ about it, but it’s jus’ in their head.”
“If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button.”
“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”
“This is a place where grandmothers hold babies on their laps under the stars and whisper in their ears that the lights in the sky are holes in the floor of heaven.”
“I believe that everything that you do bad comes back to you. So everything that I do that s bad, I m going to suffer from it. But in my mind, I believe what I m doing is right. So I feel like I m going to heaven”
“If there s no chocolate in Heaven, I m not going.”