“We’re too often guilty of thinking that our parents arrived on this planet as fully functioning adults on the day that we were born. That they don’t have pasts of their own prior to our birth. That the father is not also a son, that the mother is not also a child. My mother had a tough beginning, enduring things I know little about. And yet I more often discount her pain and overvalue mine”
“Some parents whenever their children have an independent thought they wrap them up in warm ignorance and send them to bed”
“Killing things shouldn t make you happy, Rosa. That s why they re worried.”
“Father is Everyone s First Preceptor. Happy Father s Day!”
“My parents have always worried that I’d take Amy too personally — they always tell not to read too much into her, And yet I can’t fail to notice that whenever I screw something up, Amy does it right: When I finally quit violin at age twelve, Amy was revealed as a prodigy in the next book. (“Sheesh, violin can be hard work, but handwork is the only way to get better!”) When I blew off the junior championship at age sixteen to do a beach weekend with friends, Amy recommitted to the game. (“Sheesh, I know it’s fun to spend time with friends, but I’d be letting myself and everyone else down if I didn’t show up for the tournament.”) This used to drive me mad, but after I wend off to Harvard (and Amy correct those my parents’ alma mater), I decided it was all too ridiculous to think about. That my parents, two child psychologists, chose this particular public form of passive-aggressiveness toward their child was not just fucked up but also stupid and weird and kind of hilarious.”
“He was big, that Sid. He was a force, a character, and I wondered fleetingly if Sally and I would ever seem as big to our offspring as Sid had seemed to us.”
“my parents Oedipal fakers”
“1. Santa Claus is real. However, your parents are folkloric constructs meant to protect and foritfy children against the darknesses of the real world. They are symbols representing the return of the sun and the end of winter, the sacrifice of the king and the eternal fecundity of the queen. They wear traditional vestments and are associated with certain seasonal plants, animals, and foods. After a certain age, no intelligent child continues believing in their parents, and it is embarrassing when one professes such faith after puberty. Santa Claus, however, will never fail us.”
“Jean Louise ayakta tek başına durmuyordu, onu arkadan destekleyen bir şey vardı: Hayatındaki en etkin, en güçlü manevi destek; babasının sevgisi. Bunu hiç sorgulamadı, üzerine hiç kafa yormadı, önemli bir karar almadan önce, bilinçaltından gayri ihtiyari Atticus olsa ne yapardı? sorusunun geçtiğini bile fark etmedi; ayakları yere sağlam basmasını, dimdik durmasını her seferinde sağlayanın babası olduğunu, kişiliğinde düzgün ve yüksek not almaya değer ne varsa, oraya babası tarafından konulduğunu hiç ayrımsamadı; babasına taptığını hiç bilmedi. Tek bildiği, onlara şunu bunu vermedikleri, onları şu şu konuda kandırdıkları için ebeveynlerine sövüp sayan yaşıtlarına acıdığıydı. Bir sürü ruhsal çözümlemenin ardından korkularının, kaygılarının nedeninin sahip oldukları şeyler olduğunu keşfeden orta yaşlı ev kadınlarına acıyordu; babalarından Bizim İhtiyar diye bahseden, onların çapsız, büyük olasılıkla içkici, çocuklarını bir noktada fena halde ve bağışlanamaz biçimde hüsrana uğratan, yetersiz yaratıklar olduğunu ima eden kişilere üzülüyordu. Acımak konusunda savurgan, o rahat, sıcacık dünyasında kendinden memnundu.”
“Whatever you do in this lifetime, strive to make your parents happy and proud”
“Her deep romantic nature prevented her from demanding, from asking for that quenching. She wanted it to come freely, like flowers that are sent and not requested.”
“كان آباؤنا يعرفون كل شئ ،واليوم معلوماتهم لا بأس بها”
“My Christmas was a sum total of the ministrations of adults, usually adults who wanted me to encourage my parents to buy something for me to consume and discard.”
“I had never confronted my parents with the true feelings I had for them, and I had certainly never expressed the depth of my feeling for my mother, being too selfish to try when I should have.”
“We are born with our father s names. We are not responsible for their failures. We are responsible for what they made us believe in. That is our only obligation. And it is even then a choice which we may sometimes be wise to ignore.”
“About a month after she found out about that, I got pregnant for the first time. I knew I didn t want to have a baby at all, and wanted to get an abortion. But the day I found out, I wasn t sure what to do first. I felt alone and lost and needed someone to call who I could tell. I needed help. I wasn t sure if she would talk to me again so soon after what had happened. I decided to take a chance and try calling her. When I told her, she said, Well, an abortion is only like $500, so go turn a couple of tricks and get it taken care of, before she hung up on me. I probably should have called someone else, but I didn t know who else to call.”
“But they re your parents, Malcolm said to him once a year or so. You can t just stop talking to them. But you could, and you did: he was proof of that. It was like any relationship, he felt—it took constant pruning, and dedication, and vigilance, and if neither party wanted to make the effort, why wouldn t it wither?”