“We grow up expecting our parents to live forever until, one day, they’re suddenly gone.”
“It s difficult seeing parents for who they are rather than who we want them to be.”
“I let his voice be my comfort. It bore no trace of pain or self-pity, carrying only good humor and softness and just the tiniest hint of jazz. I lived on it as if it were oxygen. It was sustaining, and it was always enough.”
“படிச்ச மகன் பெருமையை படிக்காதவன் கொண்டாடற மாதிரி படிச்சவன் கொண்டாடறதில்ல.”
“Лена очень любила дочь, обожала, как она поет, только если это были чужие песни. А в песнях Веры Лена вместо слов слышала: «Я ничего не читала, даже из школьной программы, я путаю одеть – надеть, я ставлю ударения, как мне удобнее, господи, я слегка переделала “Лавину” Коэна, но никто этого не заметит, потому что у него песня печальная, а у меня слегка в мажоре и гораздо выше, у меня очень маленький словарный запас, но зато я пою с душой и про любовь, а чтобы никто не забыл, что я пою с душой и про любовь, у меня в каждой песне буквально все утыкано словами “душа” и “любовь”».”
“The cake is pretty simple; they didn t want anything too fancy. Two tiers. The bottom is the Frango mint tier from the cake contest, but the top is a new one. An almond cake with a whipped honey caramel filling and a layer of thinly sliced spiced poached pears, with vanilla buttercream. The whole cake will get a smooth white fondant coating, and then a detailed lace pattern hand-piped with white royal icing. They ve opted out of toppers, so I ve made some simple wildflowers out of gum paste, colored with the powdered food colors to look incredibly real.”
“And I think now, as my fiftieth birthday draws near, about the American novelist Thomas Wolfe, who was only thirty-eight years old when he died. He got a lot of help in organizing his novels from Maxwell Perkins, his editor at Charles Scribner’s Sons. I have heard that Perkins told him to keep in mind as he wrote, as a unifying idea, a hero’s search for a father. It seems to me that really truthful American novels would have the heroes and heroines alike looking for mothers instead. This needn’t be embarrassing. It’s simply true. A mother is much more useful. I wouldn’t feel particularly good if I found another father.”
“I had to leave my parents to love them again. I had to move across the country to appreciate that I actually had any pull toward them - that I needed them. I had to get away from them in order to come back to them. I d like to say they did the best they could, but that couldn t have been their best. I wasn t doing my best either, so the idea that everyone is always doing the best they can is a trope. Some people are just interested in surviving; doing their best doesn t even occur to them.”
“I remember back when I was in school. When things were more normal. I remember how hard everything was. Every exam, every essay. I remember thinking how it would be easier to die than to write the first word on an empty screen. Every. Single. Time. And my parents always saying you ll be fine, you ll be fine. Stop worrying. You always do well. And I hated that they were right. I hated them for being right. Every. Single. Time. Because just once, I wanted someone to acknowledge how hard it all really was. The crying and the dying and the headaches and the heartaches. To say it out loud so that I could hear it. Just once. And then I d just get on with it. But I d know that they knew that it wasn t fine at all and that it probably never would be. But we d just get on with it. Like we always do.”
“You really don t understand what it s like to have bad parents, do you?”
“She doesn t know why, but she s thinking a lot about her parents this summer. When you re a teenager, you want them to be sexless, but somewhere along the way the smallest memories of affection between our parents get imprinted on our DNA. Parents who divorce, like Ana s, can stop a child believing in eternal love. Parents who stick together for a lifetime can make a child take it for granted instead.”
“Do not marry someone who thinks you need to seek his/her permission to visit your own parents after marriage.”
“My parents loved us but I wasn t always sure they liked us.”
“It s never the world at large you want to prove yourself to. It s someone in particular. Doesn t matter how old you get, you re still hoping for Mom or Dad to kiss you on the head. And yes, that person should ideally be yourself, just as the answers to all our questions and the objects of our quests should most likely be found within our own souls. But they re not. We need more. Someone or something bigger than us. A magical other. And that s why we reach for the gods. Or for someone to love.”
“Have you thought about the Coming Out Thing? It gets complicated when you bring religion into the equation. Technically, Jews and Episcopalians are supposed to be gay-friendly, but it s hard to really know how that applies to your own parents. Like, you read about these gay kids with really churchy Catholic parents, and the parents end up doing PFLAG and Pride Parades and everything. And then you hear about parents who are totally fine with homosexuality, but can t handle it when their own kid comes out. You just never know.”
“Listening to the advice of parents, relatives and friends can distract your mind from choosing the right career for your life”
“As I walk behind her down the halls, it happens. I shrink inch by inch until I am no longer an adult, but a baby toddling along in a comically oversized business suit. I have been pretending to be a grown-up this whole time. My briefcase is full of milk: I have been found out. This, then, is home. What is home? Is it a sort of lap of location, that exists only if certain conditions are in place? Is it the intersection of rigidity and comfort--a junction of familiartiy that you curl into? Is it a feeling? I don t know, but I m being hugged hard against it, and I can t tell when I ll be let go.”