“In the real world, babysitting is a groovy way for young people to learn responsibility (and earn a little pocket money). In the Terrorverse, it s a plot device used to kill teenagers.”
“Roses are red, Violettes are bllue, Valentines day is consumerous crap,now don t you have ironing to do Unlikely thing to read in a valentines day card”
“I didn t wait for Luck. I raced after it with a truck.”
“It s early on a beautiful winter morning. The house is quiet. The sun is shining. I m thankful. I m happy. My cup runneth over. Now there s coffee everywhere.”
“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks!” -Totie Fields-”
“I m holding a super-expandable energy-powered towel. I ve made friends with space hamsters. I think we ve stretched believability rather far, don t you?”
“In life there are squares and there are circles, sometimes it s best to be an oblong”
“Comedy is, of course, closely associated with eggs.”
“Success=Assinchair”
“here’s why I take comedies seriously: they present and celebrate the world in which we survive our own and others’ mistakes, follies, transgressions, and deep sins. However lightly, dimly, or bleakly, comedies revel in our survival—in the delaying of death and the staying of the curse. Comedies tell the story of ruined folk somehow avoiding ruin.”
“Outwardly, I hope, I wear my usual mask of detachment, even irony, for there has never been a situation,however dire, even this one, that did not strike me as containing at least some element of the human comedy.”
“I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns.”
“Laughter and enjoyment is the key to Entertainment.”
“If God gives you a hundred bucks, you better bet He’s going to ask you what you bought.”
“Displacement of What goes around, comes around is Zero.”
“Well, bloody noses. I hug his coat tighter. Those are definitely hot.”
“Why is it that drama always starts late? Whereas comedy always seems to have started already.”