“I don t like taking from anyone. I d rather be a giver, though not for any worthy reason. It s about control, obviously. If I give, I control; if I take, I am controlled. If someone offers me something for free I am at once suspicious.”
“You want to be competent? she thought. You want to learn to be in control of what goes on around you, rather than just being pushed around? Then you’ll have to learn to deal with failure.”
“To find love is the great human undertaking...and it s always complicated by our compulsions and unconscious patterns, to say nothing of issues of trust and control.”
“Control is as much an effect as a cause, and the idea that control is something you exert is a real handicap to progress”
“Along with the mystical wonderment and sense of ecological responsibility that comes with the recognition of connectedness, more disturbing images come to mind. When applied to economics, connectedness seems to take the form of chain stores, multinational corporations, and international trade treaties which wipe out local enterprise and indigenous culture. When I think of it in the realm of religion, I envision smug missionaries who have done such a good job of convincing native people everywhere that their World-Maker is the same as God, and by this shoddy sleight of hand have been steadily impoverishing the world of the great fecundity and complex localism of belief systems that capture truths outside the Western canon. And I wonder—if everything s connected, does that mean that everything can be manipulated and controlled centrally by those who know how to pull strings at strategic places?”
“The problem with a plan is that you fill up the blank page of a new day with a to-do list before you get there. And if you re not careful there s no room for anything else. A plan, especially a very focused one, narrows down the possibilies of the future to just a couple of things: that things either go to plan, or they don t.”
“But love doesn’t control, and I suppose that’s why it’s the ultimate risk. In the end, we have to hope the person we’re giving our heart to won’t break it, and be willing to forgive them when they do, even as they will forgive us. Real love stories don’t have dictators, they have participants. Love is an ever-changing, complicated, choose-your-own adventure narrative that offers the world but guarantees nothing. When you climb a mountain or sail an ocean, you’re rewarded for staying in control. Perhaps that’s another reason true intimacy is so frightening. It’s the one thing we all want, and must give up control to get.”
“Don t be a zombie for anyone, if your oppressor likes zombies, cinemas are not located in mars.”
“The jinni sighed. I m less grateful to him than I should be. He s a good and generous man, but I m not accustomed to relying on someone else. It makes me feel weak.’ How is relying on others a weakness? How can it be anything else? If for some reason Arbeely died tomorrow, I d be forced to find another occupation. The event would be outside my control, yet I d be at its mercy. Is that not weakness? I suppose. But then, going by your standard, everyone is weak. So why call it a weakness, instead of just the way things are?”
“I pray that I am never so foolishly naive or roguishly pompous to think that I can be the captain of my own ship, for if God is not at the helm my ship will soon be at the bottom.”
“The urge to shout filthy words at the top of his voice was as strong as ever.”
“Tomorrow will never call to ask your opinion; you don t control it. Stop allowing today s possibilities to be robbed by tomorrow s insecurities.”
“In any bureaucracy, the people devoted to the benefit of the bureaucracy itself always get in control, and those dedicated to the goals the bureaucracy is supposed to accomplish have less and less influence, and sometimes are eliminated entirely.[Pournelle s law of Bureaucracy]”
“Se ha inventado casi todo pero no ha inventado el hombre una máxima de gobierno que supere a los principios de un Cristo, un Buda. No. Naturalmente, no le discutiré el derecho al escepticismo, pero el escepticismo es un lujo de minoría... Al resto le serviremos la felicidad bien cocinada y la humanidad engullirá gozosamente la divina bazofia.”
“Let them see that you trust them & let them solve their own problems, make their own decisions.Do that & they will commit their lives to you. Bully the, control them out of fear or malice or just for your own convenience, & after a while you ll have to spend all your time thinking for them, controlling them, & stifling their resentment.”
“That is the end goal of every patriarchal culture. Because a very effective way to control women is to convince women to control themselves.”
“Stay solid on your end, hold on to your wise opinion, you can t control what other people do or say, you can t stop a fool from being foolish, and you won t share in his shame, sorrow, and regrets.”