“Because , she said, your problems are not real problems. You re dating two beautiful girls at once. Think about it. That s like...having rock-star problems. Having rock-star problems may be the closest I ever get to being an actual rock star.”
“What did you expect? That he d send you flowers and write you bad poetry? That dead Nemean prowler is pretty much as close to a stuffed animal as you re ever going to get from a Spartan like Logan Quinn.”
“When you re on a Ferris wheel all anyone ever talks about is being on the Ferris wheel and the view from the Ferris wheel and whether the Ferris wheel is scary and how many more times it will go around. Dating is like that. Nobody who s doing it ever talks about anything else. I have no interest in dating.”
“This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn t want a wide-hipped, sarcastic Greek girl with short hair that s permed on top? What s that you say? None of them want that? You are correct.”
“Ordinarily, I am the person who falls in love quickly and somewhat inappropriately and then goes on to destroy what is a good thing. That s always been my style. So, you know: I get it. And I feel right now the way I imagine all those guys felt with me. And I have to say, for the first time in my life, I feel something approaching compassion for them.”
“What organized dating sites fail to understand is that the people are far more interesting in what they don t say about themselves.”
“Are you sure you want to go out with someone with that kind of history? ...He could have a psychotic break. I read that people get those when they re twenty-eight.”
“The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.”
“And since I’m marrying into the Quartet, I have certain privileges and duties. If you’re sleeping with Laurel—” “I’m not sleeping with Laurel. We’re dating.” “Right, and the two of you are just going to hold hands, admire the moon, and sing camp songs.” “For a while. Minus the singing.”
“Tanith frowned. Did people still go on DATES any more? She was sure they did. They probably called it something different though. She tried to think of the last date she d been on. The last PROPER date. Did fighting side by side with Saracen Rue count as a date? They ended up snuggling under the moonlight, drenched in gore and pieces of brain - so it had PROBABLY been a date. If it wasn t, it was certainly a fun time had by all. Well, not ALL. But she and Saracen had sure had a blast.”
“I am looking for the one I can’t fool.”
“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”
“Valkyrie made a face. Bloody vampires. Ryan sat forward. That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant? We don t talk about vampires, Skulduggery warned. But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the- We don t talk about vampires! Valkyrie said sharply. Ryan shrunk back. Sorry, he said. Don t worry about it, Skulduggery told him. Valkyrie used to date a vampire that s all. We didn t date , Valkyrie said immediately. Skulduggery held a hand up. I m not judging. Valkyrie scowled.”
“Sometimes we assume that the new person in our life is better for us because they are totally different from the last person we dated. Only later do we see that we have chosen a different version of the same thing and they both leave us unsatisfied.”
“Amazing how being bathed in arterial blood can wash out any lingering romantic disappointments.”
“Don t talk. Kill it. That might be the sweetest thing a woman s ever said to me on a first date.”
“Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.”