“If sex were food, Rhage would haven been morbidly obese.”
“There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler s mind.”
“To ugly ducklings everywhere, Don t worry about those fluffy yellow morons: They ll never get to be swans”
“Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.”
“I was cold, hungry, and in a hole in the ground. But at least I had my elven porn, damnit!”
“Andrea: ....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle.” Kate: “He isn’t a poodle. He’s a Doberman mix. Andrea: “Aha. Keep telling yourself that.”
“It s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?”
“Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren t any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.”
“I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.”
“One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn t have a fireplace.”
“face touchage lame-sauce Sulky McSulkerton”
“He who laughs last ... just didn t get the joke.”
“He also deeply distrusts vampires, as you had guessed yourself,” Bones added. “Aside from that, all I heard was enough repetitions of ‘how many chucks could a woodchuck chuck’ to make me want to stake myself.”
“A smile is the best way to get oneself out of a tight spot, even if it is a fake one. Surprisingly enough, everyone takes it at face value. I read that in a book. If you keep staring at me, I ll hit you. I only became part of your team recently when I replaced Sasuke, so I don t know everything that s going on. I don t really understand people either. But even I can tell that Naruto really loves you. Naruto s been shouldering that promise for a long time...I think he means to shoulder it for the rest of his life. I don t know what you said to him, but it s just like what s been done to me - it feels like a curse. Sasuke causes Naruto pain, but I think you do too. Sasuke is only helping spread his darkness across the world. Letting him live will only sow the seeds of another war. He s just another criminal now. Sasuke lost all hope of coming back when his group, Akatsuki, attacked our village. Your fellow Konoha shinobi would never accept him now. Sakura s not stupid, either. She understands the position he s put us all in. That s why she came out here, to tell you herself.”
“Kiss my ass Rath Roiben Rye”
“Valkyrie walked to the back door, which hadn t been closed properly, shut it and locked it. There was now a baby in the house, after all. She couldn t take the chance that a wild animal might wander in and make off with Alice, like those dingoes in Australia. She was probably being unfair to both dingoes and Australia, but she couldn t risk it. Locked doors kept the dingoes out, and that s all there was to it, even if she didn t know what a dingo actually was. She took out her phone, searched the Internet, found a picture of a baby dingo and now she really wanted a baby dingo for a pet.”
“Hold up. How do you accidentally have sex with somebody?” Adina scoffed. “Is she all, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t see your penis there’?”