“Back in the day, it was either both a mother and her daughter had pubic hair, or the daughter didn’t. Today, in many a case, the mother is the one who doesn’t.”
“Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.”
“Good isn t obsessed to win But Bad is destined to lose”
“I saved a man s life once, said Granny. Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of berry juice in it. Told him I d bought it from the dwarves. That s the biggest part of doct rin, really. Most people ll get over things if they put their minds to it, you just have to give them an interest. She patted Esk s hand as nicely as possible. You re a bit young for this, she said, but as you grow older you ll find most people don t set foot outside their own heads much.”
“But how do we know it s working properly? The green light is on. said Jack.”
“If You Get Accidentally Locked, In the loo - Would you #KnockYourSelfOut?”
“Number 1 is perhaps not the ideal. It is there for the one behind, the number 2. Mr 2 would learn a whole lot more being who he is than ever being Mr 1. Perhaps there is more to the phrase #OddOneOut.”
“It s hard to sleep when you have thirty two million quids worth of stolen jewellery hidden under the mattress.”
“Sit Down - What to do if a parent wants to get their child s attention.”
“Mom Voice - A mother s vocal range when even the neighbours will clean their rooms and eat their veggies.”
“Spike: Bloody hell, woman, you re cutting off my circulation! Buffy: You don t have any circulation. Spike: Well, it pinches”
“Not one of the boys like me. I’ve put their noses out of joint.” “Well, they were never good-looking lads.”
“He was the kind of teacher every child hated, and they suspected most of the staff did not like him too.”
“It is in the best interest of the rich to preserve poverty.”
“I leave the outdoors to you. It is too warm out there to read comfortable, and summer, like many uncomfortable things, is as welcome as a dim woman. It is tolerable to look at, but after being made to interact with it, nobody wants anything to do with it.”
“Believe me, Dirk; I ve been in this game a long time and I know what I m talking about. I ve seen it all; wife swapping during a coach tour of Norfolk churches, orgies at a pensioners whist drive in Somerset; a mystery weekend where the real mystery turned out to be, what was Mr Preston doing hanging upside down in the wardrobe with an apple in his mouth.”
“Kaz reached into his coat pocket. Here, he said and handed Jesper a slender book with an elaborate cover. Are we going to read to each other? Just flip it open to the back. Jesper opened the book and peered at the last page, puzzled. So? Hold it up so we don t have to look at your ugly face. My face has character. Besides - oh! An excellent read, isn t it? Who knew I had a taste for literature?”