“Jokes about full stops are not funny, period.”
“Smile often. It will either confuse people or make them think you’re up to something.”
“There are only two kinds of people in this world: Those who are always certain of everything and I’m not sure who the others are.”
“My biological clock may be ticking, but I can’t hear it properly due to the singing cuckoo.”
“Arguing with a fool means you’re also one.”
“If I had a dollar for every time someone called me crazy, I’d build a mental asylum and check them into it one by one.”
“I used to say: “All religions are somewhat true. But my religion is the truest of them all because I was born into it and never got to choose it.” Now I have transcended this atavistic dogmatic reality tunnel and evolved into spirituality, thereby making me more spiritually enlightened than you.”
“I remain to be convinced that Jacob Rees-Mogg has not at least considered ingesting his young.”
“Frankly, Hadley, you look like a fucking Cabbage Patch Kid fighting Godzilla.”
“Marriage is called an ‘institution’ because you must be somewhat mental to get into it. You first seek asylum but end up living in one. You don’t believe me? Well, in Spanish ‘Esposas’ means wives as well as handcuffs. But hey, that’s nothing but a linguistic coincidence.”
“My rules for speech also disqualified “fire,” “lit,” “progressive,” “zi,” “cray,” and “Do you want to go to the Chainsmokers concert?”
“Bet she still lives with her mum and dad and has piles of teddies on her bed...”
“Traitor.” Nero Muttered. Temper looked over his shoulder. “You say something, buddy?” Nero scowled. “You betrayed us.” “How’d you figure that?” “You pretended to be one of us.” “I was undercover, jackass. Pretending to be one of you is what undercover means. I can’t betray you if I was never one of you to begin with.” “You said you were my friend.” “If it makes you feel better, you still hold a special place in my heart.” “Shut up.” “Need a hug?” “Shut. Up.” Temper grinned.”
“Have any of you been inside before?” MacQueen gave a soft huff of laughter. “Aye. At Covent Garden a few years back. Lady Astley and I shared a theater box. But a gentleman isn’t supposed to kiss and tell, is he?” “I meant the town house, you dog. Not the countess.”
“What are you going to do with your self now? ... I? said Fen. I shall pursue my orderly and dignified progress towards the grave.”
“Never make a person feel, that s/he is very (extra) special.. because, then that person starts feeling that You are not worth her/him.”
“I glared into the gloom. I couldn t make out much other than an outline. Did I need more carrots in my diet or was it that dark?”