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humour

“It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever, he said. Have you thought of going into teaching?”

— Terry Pratchett, Mort, Share via Whatsapp

“Life would be tragic if it weren t funny.”

— Stephen Hawking, Share via Whatsapp

“When you re drowning you don t think, I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I m drowning and come and rescue me. You just scream.”

— John Lennon, Share via Whatsapp

“Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long. Good things come to those who wait.”

— Jess C. Scott, The Intern, Share via Whatsapp

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”

— Bill Hicks, Share via Whatsapp

“Just because you said dragon demons were extinct— I said mostly extinct. Alec jabbed a finger toward him. Mostly extinct, he said, his voice trembling with rage, is NOT EXTINCT ENOUGH. I see, said Jace. I ll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from almost extinct to not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct. Will that make you happy?”

— Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes, Share via Whatsapp

“I d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”

— Terry Pratchett, Share via Whatsapp

“Short cuts make long delays.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring, Share via Whatsapp

“You re not very nice, I say, grinning. You re one to talk. Hey, I could be nice if I tried. Hmm. He taps his chin. Say something nice, then. You re very good-looking. He smiles, his teeth a flash in this dark. I like this nice thing.”

— Veronica Roth, Allegiant, Share via Whatsapp

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

— Elbert Hubbard, Share via Whatsapp

“All of humanity s problems stem from man s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

— Blaise Pascal, Pensées, Share via Whatsapp

“I can t decide whether I m a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I m a bad girl wrapped up in a good girl. And that s how I know I m a woman!”

— C. JoyBell C., Share via Whatsapp

“No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it”

— Fernando Pessoa, Share via Whatsapp

“I am who I am and that s who I am”

— Nikolai Gogol, Share via Whatsapp

“The human body is the best work of art.”

— Jess C. Scott, Share via Whatsapp

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting All gods are bastards!”

— Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic, Share via Whatsapp

“Asscrown, I muttered under my breath as I headed to my next class. I wasn t proud of swearing at a complete stranger, no. but he started it. Noah matched my pace. Don t you mean assclown ? He looked amused. No, I said, louder this time. I mean asscrown. The crown on top of the asshat that covers the asshole of the assclown. The very zenith in the hierarchy of asses, I said, as though I was reading from a dictionary of modern profanity. I guess you nailed me then.”

— Michelle Hodkin, The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer, Share via Whatsapp