“He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend- provided of course he really is dead.”
“Just for a while : Death s opening chat-up line in His great seduction, before he drugged you with soporific comforts, distracted you with minor luxuries and ensnared you with long-term payment plans. Join the Rat Race just for a while. Concentrate on your career just for a while. Move in with your girlfriend just for a while. Find a bigger place, out in the burbs just for a while. Lie down in that wooden box just for a while.”
“He was a boom boom shake the room kind of guy”
“Irreverence is our only sacred cow.”
“Its horrors are a cheap price to pay for rescue from the only alternative supposed, of a world of clerks and teachers, of co-education and zo-ophily, of consumer s leagues and associated charities, of industrialism unlimited and feminism unabashed. No scorn, no hardness, no valour any more! Fie upon such a cattleyard of a planet!”
“pwede nga ring yung TV ang may sumpa. dahil ang TV, para ring drugs, pero ligal. isipin mo, bakit isa ito sa mga unang-unang ipinupundar ng mga Pilipino kahit gaano sila kahirap? kasi malaking tulong ang telebisyon para lumimot. para tumakas sa realidad. kahit mag-isa ka lang sa bahay, nababawasan ang lungkot kung may TV. nakakatanggal-buryong kung wala kang trabaho. mas entertaining kesa sa diyaryo, at mas accessible kesa sa sine. pwede rin itong tagapag-alaga ng mga anak mo. pwedeng ulam kung sakto lang ang budget pambili ng ng bigas. at pwedeng bintana kung parang bartolina lang ang tirahang tinutulugan ng mag-anak mo, dahil may magaganda itong lugar at magagandang tao. kumpleto sa sayawan, kantahan, tawanan, pantasya, at boksing. burado ang mga suliranin mo. pag sinuswerte ka, pwede ka pang manalo.”
“Also unfortunately, Congress is far too busy asking if baseball players are really as strong as they seem and trying to choke bankers with wads of cash to grant more funds to such trifling matters as the avoidance of space bullets, so they won t give NASA the money”
“I hope Marcus (giggle) is there. Maybe he can defeat the evil Cullens with his mighty battle cry, I can see relationships!!!”
“The ultimate downfall of the computerized holographic receptionist was that there was no amount of flattery, flirtation or chocolate that could convince one to lie for you.”
“Probably went swimming and got eaten by a pineapple.”
“To be self-contented is to be vile and ignorant, ans that to aspire is better than to be blindly and impoitently happy.”
“We pay people and reward them for greed and sleaze . When a sex tape gets made a star is born with a publicity agent on speed dial a six figure pay cheque and a tacky lingerie line....selling filth so you can get your face on Time magazine... From Jukebox”
“It was in this pub he d learnt that, contrary to the belief of the majority of those laying bets, it is possible to flatten a hundred frogs with a hammer in less than thirty seconds. In short, it was a pub with a reputation. And very slimy walls.”
“I denounce the do-gooders, the feel-gooders, the “activist clubs,” and anyone else who makes people feel like the problem is being taken care of. Trust me. The problem is not being taken care of.”
“You will be very visible in the company photo, also the website and any other marketing materials. There s no way to avoid it. The photo will only be scheduled when you are in the office, so don t try pretending to be sick. They ll wait for you.”
“Like vampires and extremely rich people, black folk can sense one another. Use your Spidey Sense (Blacky Sense?). Use your blackdar to inspect the workplace for signs of Other Negroes. They may be working security for the building. They may be in administrative support. They may be among the associate pool, or they may even be in upper management. Black folk can be anywhere. After all, you re here. But one of the biggest mistakes you can make as The Black Employee is to assume you are the only one.”
“Akthent on thee latht thyllable.”